


where he belongs

by bleachedvamp



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm, Sunset Curve, they didnt die yet, theyre all best friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:41:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26972338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bleachedvamp/pseuds/bleachedvamp
Summary: reggie's parents were bad, but at least they were there. he preferred his mom. probably because she never put her lit cigarettes on his arm and she never threw empty glass bottles at his head. he turned to hurting himself, maybe as a way to be better than his dad. he didn't know. he could hurt himself all he wanted, as long as nobody saw the marks, especially not his bandmates.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 112





	where he belongs

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i havent written a fic in almost two years but i love jatp and i also wanted to be really sad so yeah, my first jatp fic and its gonna be really bad so bare with me.  
> HUGE trigger warning for self harm, abusive parents, and mentions of suicide.

both of reggie’s parents were there. he wouldn’t say present, because they ignored him constantly, but they didn’t abandon him completely. his mom wasn’t as bad as his dad. she never hit him. never pushed him against a wall to punch him. never snuffed out her cigarette on his bare arm. but reggies dad did. reggies dad did all of that and more. he started doing that when reggie was about nine or ten. so was used to it.

he had wanted to drown it out with something. he never had a solution to it, so he started hurting himself. he guessed it was just a way to prove to himself that he was stronger than his dad, that he could take it. he started just doing it occasionally, whenever his dad would push a boundary. then reggie started doing it more. he liked how it felt. how it took power away from what his dad was doing. eventually, it became a habit. he was doing it multiple times a week, he would do it anytime things felt too much, anytime he felt something that wasn’t okay; which was often. he had almost killed himself a few times, but he didn’t. he couldn’t. he never knew why he couldn’t go through with it.

one night, it was just reggie, luke, alex, and bobby at a pier that nobody ever really came to because it wasn’t a very scenic area. but it was desolate and isolated, so the band would go there and smoke out, drink, bring dates there to makeout, and occasionally make out with each other if they were intoxicated enough.

“jesus fuck.” reggie took a sip from his bottle, emptying it, then throwing it onto some rocks, and listened to it break. “it’s so hot out.”  
“probably because you’re wearing a leather jacket.” bobby said as he took an inhale from the joint he and luke were sharing.  
“yeah, reg, we wanna see your shredded arms.” alex laughed.  
reggie just rolled his eyes and took off his jacket, tossing it to where bobby and luke were sitting.  
luke exhaled through his nose and pursed his lips at the sight of the burn marks and bruises on his friend’s arm. he never got used to seeing them. the whole band knew reggie’s dad hurt him, they just never wanted to talk about it.  
reggie sat down on the edge of the pier, dangling his feet off the edge, and looked down into the water, loving how the moon reflected off of it.  
luke got up and went to sit down next to reggie. they were best friends. since middle school. they basically grew up together. they were close.  
reggie looked up from the water and looked at luke, he was attracted to him, but not in a gay way, it’s like how you would date your best friend if they asked but you wouldn’t be the one to engage the relationship.  
luke looked down at reggie’s bicep, seeing bruises and marks, then he looked down at his forearm and widened his eyes, looking back into his eyes. reggie hid his arm as fast as he could, and looked at the horizon. “reggie what’s that?” luke had so much sudden worry in his voice. reggie’s arm was covered in so many cuts, going every direction, they looked like scratches.  
“it’s nothing luke. just my dad.” reggie felt ashamed, but he was glad someone was concerned about him.  
“what’s wrong?” alex asked as he and bobby looked over at the other two.  
“that’s not from your dad. those are new. your parents are away on vacation.” luke was firm with his words, trying to get reggie to open up.  
“it’s nothing.” the pale boy’s voice was soft, scared.  
“reg, we’re here for you.” luke gestured to the bobby and alex, who were sitting next to them now. the two nodded to show their support for reggie. “please just talk to me.” luke grabbed reggie’s wrist softly.  
“i said it’s nothing!” reggie snatched his hand away and stood up. he had tears in his eyes and one was slowly falling down his cheek. “move!” he yelled at alex and bobby, who were in his way. after his path was clear, he started speed walking to get off the pier, and then started running.

luke was about to cry, and he was about to stand up to run after reggie, but bobby cut him off. “no. let me handle this.” he stood up and ran after the boy.  
bobby caught up with reggie, who was walking down the beach and crying. “hey.” he walked in front of reggie, making sure he couldn’t walk past him.  
“what do you want?” his voice was breaking.  
“what was that back there?” bobby was genuinely concerned.  
reggie looked at him for a moment and hugged him so tightly, he couldn’t move anything but his arms to hug back. reggie started crying even harder. he fell down, causing his friend to go down with him. they just sat there, in a tight hug, reggie crying, and even bobby crying a little bit too.  
they eventually pulled away and looked at each other, then at the ocean. bobby broke the silence after around five minutes. “are you ready to talk about it?” he looked at reggie and his tear stained cheeks, red from all the crying.  
without looking away from the water, reggie nodded.  
bobby shifted his position so he was facing a little bit more to the other boy. “when did you start?”  
reggie moved from leaning on his hands, to bending his knee and wrapping his arms around it. “about 3 months ago.”  
“why?”  
reggie shrugged. he didn’t know what to say. he just looked at his wrist and traced over the scars.  
“is it only on your wrists?”  
“no.” reggie pulled down his sweatpants (they’ve all seen each other less decent than this before), and ran his thumb along the marks on his thigh. everywhere on his thigh.  
“oh, reg. i’m so sorry” bobby could’ve broken down. he hated seeing his bandmate like this.  
“it’s fine. i guess i just wanted to be stronger than my dad, and now it’s just habit.” reggie’s eyes welled up again and he looked his friend in the eyes.  
“do you want to be alone?” bobby rubbed reggie’s back.  
“yeah. i’ll be there in a bit.” reggie said, so bobby stood up and walked back to the pier.

reggie stared at the moonlit ocean, not thinking about anything, and absentmindedly rubbing his scars. 'why am i like this? why can’t i just be normal?'

his thoughts were broken after about fifteen minutes when someone walked next to him and held out his jacket.  
“i brought your jacket back.” it was luke’s voice.  
reggie grabbed it and put it in his lap. “thanks” he never looked at him.  
“i’m sorry.” luke said as he sat down where bobby was sitting before him. “i shouldn’t have violated you like that.”  
reggie held out his arm and put it on luke’s lap so he could look at them since he couldn’t earlier. not shifting his gaze or moving at all.  
luke just stared at the marks. “oh my god, reggie i’m so sorry.” a tear fell from his eye and landed on reggies arm, causing him to flinch.  
“it’s fine. it’s not your fault.” reggie finally looked over at luke, who looked heartbroken.  
“can i?” luke hovered his hand over his best friends arm.  
reggie nodded.  
luke hesitantly picked up his arm and lightly ran his fingers over the scarring. “when are these from?”  
“a few days to a week ago. the other arm is from about a month ago. the rest is old.” reggies voice was breaking again.  
“the rest?” luke looked him in his teary eyes again.  
reggie pulled down his sweatpants once again, revealing his thighs, covered in cuts.  
“oh my god, reg.” luke held his hand. “why didn’t you tell me about this?” he started to cry.  
“i don’t know” reggie started crying again, his hand shaking in luke’s.  
luke pulled him to his chest and hugged him tightly. he let him cry into his shirt, and he tried to hold in his own sobs, but he couldn’t. it pained him to see that his best friend was hurting. “come live with us.” luke said.  
luke and bobby lived in their studio together, it made it easier to practice music and get away from their families.  
reggie pulled away and looked at luke in the eyes. “are you sure? is bobby okay with that?” he asked, sniffling.  
“yeah. he told me to ask you.”  
reggie thought about it for a moment, then nodded. then hugger luke again. “thank you.” he whispered.  
“of course. i love you, man.” luke said, running his fingers through reggie’s hair.

this was it.

this was why he didn’t kill himself.

this was where he belonged.


End file.
